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Last Updated on July 4, 2025 by Pen Pixel
You might sit and think you’re just “too much.”
Too loud. Too quiet. Too happy. Too angry.
One minute you’re dancing barefoot at 3am. The next, you’re staring at the ceiling wondering if anyone would even notice if you disappeared.
Yeah. This isn’t just “mood swings.”
This is bipolar disorder.
The Key Takeaway.
Bipolar disorder isn’t cute. It’s not “omg I’m so emotional lol.” It’s a painful tug-of-war between two people inside you. One wants to burn the world down, and one’s already buried under the ashes. Some days, you can’t breathe because you’re too high. Other days, you can’t move because you’re too low. And in between? You’re pretending to be normal. Pretending HARD.
What Exactly Is Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder is what happens when your brain keeps flipping between extreme happiness and deep sadness.
You’ve got the highs – called mania or hypomania (depending on how intense it is) where you feel invincible. Not happy. Unstoppable. You don’t sleep. You talk too much. You get 50 business ideas and you swear they’re all genius. You clean the whole damn house at 2am. You call people you haven’t spoken to in years. You spend money like it grows on vibes. You feel chosen.
Then comes the crash. And oh, when it crashes, it crashes.
You can’t get out of bed. You cancel everything. You eat too much or nothing at all. You ghost your friends. You feel disgusted by your own reflection. Your brain starts whispering nasty little lies like “You’re a burden” and “No one really likes you anyway.” Sometimes, it’s not even sadness. Just…numbness. You’re there, but not really.
That’s bipolar disorder. Not cute or quirky. Just hard.
The Highs and Lows Of Bipolar Disorder.
Most people don’t talk about the in-between. The part where you’re not manic and not depressed.
You’re just… waiting.
Trying to guess which version of yourself is going to wake up tomorrow.
And I think the worst part is that people don’t notice when you’re slipping. Because during the highs, you’re the life of the party. And during the lows, you isolate so well, it’s like you’re just taking a break.
Nobody sees the full picture.
Only you do.
The Manic Side of Bipolar Disorder – the HIGH.
Let’s talk about this high. Because people always assume depression is the worst part. But mania?
That is a trap dressed like a good time.
At first, it feels amazing.
You feel hot, powerful, magnetic.
You text ten people. You flirt with your ex. You binge-buy things you can’t afford. You make promises you cannot keep.
You say “yes” to everything.
You think, This is who I really am. This is the best version of me.
But deep down, you’re spinning out.
And when it ends? You look around at the damage you caused.
Unpaid bills. Burned bridges. Exhausted body.
People asking, “What happened to you?”
And all you can say is, “I don’t know.”
Because you don’t.
The Drowning Part of Bipolar Disorder – the LOW.
Depression isn’t just “sad.”
It’s forgetting how to be human.
- You stop brushing your teeth. You wear the same clothes for days.
- You scroll past 100 messages and reply to none.
- You can’t cry. But you also can’t feel okay.
- You don’t want to die.
- You just… wouldn’t mind if everything stopped.
You get mad at yourself because, “Wasn’t I just fine last week??”
But that’s bipolar for you. Your brain doesn’t ask permission before it switches lanes. It just hits the gas.
Why This Disorder Is So Hard to Explain.
Because it doesn’t look the same all the time. Because some days, you look fine. You’re posting selfies. You’re cracking jokes. Other days, you vanish.
And the people around you don’t know what to believe. They say, “But you were doing so well.” They mean well. But they don’t get it. This disorder doesn’t give you closure. It just loops.
Things I Wish People Knew About Bipolar Disorder.
- It’s not “just mood swings.” It’s a full-blown earthquake in your brain.
- Highs are not always fun. They can be reckless, humiliating, and dangerous.
- Meds help, but they don’t cure it.
- Some people miss mania because depression feels like death, and mania feels like the only time they’re alive.
- Telling someone to “just pray about it” or “try yoga” is like giving a glass of water to someone drowning in the ocean. Sweet, but useless.
What Managing Bipolar Disorder Actually Looks Like.
Therapy, yes.
Meds, often.
Sleep schedules.
Mood trackers.
Learning to say no, even when you feel high and generous.
Asking for help before it gets too bad.
- It’s not about “fixing” yourself. It’s really about knowing who you become at both extremes and planning around it.
- And it’s about forgiving yourself. For the things you said. The mess you made. The people you pushed away and the weeks you lost.
Now go drink some water. And please, don’t pretend you’re fine when you’re not. That version of you deserves to be seen too. 🖤