Cheating back is weak. But sureeeee, you can do anything you like.
- Will it make you feel better? Nope, you’ll feel awful.
- Will your friends and family be proud? Nope, they’ll be disappointed.
- Will it fix your relationship? Nope, it’ll just make things worse.
- Will it help you move on? Nope, you’ll be stuck in a mess.
- Will it help future relationships? Nope, cheaters usually cheat again.
If you’re trying to hurt your partner, which is what ‘cheating back’ is all about, there are better ways. Move on, let them go, and find your happiness.
The Key Takeaway.
Cheating back? That’s just weak. Don’t do it. If you cheat and get caught, decide, own it. Make the choice that fits. It’s not about who cheated first or worse. It’s about who comes out stronger. You either rebuild with honesty or walk away with your head held high.
Revenge cheating and divorce aren’t the only options. They don’t address the real issues. You can’t change what happened, but you can learn from it.
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You’re already going through a hard time, so make it count. Turn this mess into an AFLO (Another Freaking Learning Opportunity).
- Has your spouse cheated on past partners?
- Is the cheating recent, ongoing, or from the start of your relationship?
- Were they cheating on someone else with you?
- If you knew about past cheating, what did you do with that info?
- How did you find out about the cheating?
- Does your spouse want to stop?
Reasons for Cheating.
People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Some are ridiculous and some are just livid! Do you know why your spouse did it? Did they tell you? Do you believe them? Here are some reasons I’ve heard:
- We were arguing a lot and I didn’t know how to fix it.
- I want things from my spouse that I’m not getting.
- I deserve to have all my needs met, even if it means breaking vows (narcissistic).
- I feel abandoned when my spouse goes on trips without me (borderline).
- I feel trapped and cheat to feel in control (schizoid).
- I boost my self-esteem by flirting with others (narcissist or borderline).
- Our sex life is dead, and it’s easier to cheat than fix it.
- I express my anger by cheating.
- I miss the excitement of courtship and find real relationships boring (narcissist or borderline).
- We have young kids, and I feel neglected. What about my needs?
How Can Couple Therapy Help?
- You’ll learn new ways to settle arguments.
- You will be improving your communication skills.
- You’ll become more realistic about your expectations.
Go For Individual Therapy If;
- There’s a sense of entitlement (narcissistic).
- You feel abandoned due to past traumas (borderline).
- Early life traumas make committed relationships feel unsafe (schizoid).
- You find committed relationships boring.
- You’re using sex with others to solve problems.
What Happens After A Partner Cheats?
Stay or Leave?
Most people say they’ll kick their partner out if they cheat, but the truth is, 70% will give them another chance. You can’t truly understand the devastation and mind games until it happens to you.
If you’re in a committed relationship or are married, this is a massive hit. Thinking rationally? Out the window. You’ll be at your most vulnerable with someone who has NO problem lying to you. Their actions show they’re comfortable with it, and if they’ve been cheating for a while, they’re a good actor too.
They know you inside out. Your weaknesses, hopes, dreams, everything. If your relationship had any depth, they’ll use that knowledge to their advantage, doing everything they can to get a second chance.
Wait, They Want A Second Chance..
Unless it was an exit affair, 97% of caught cheaters will try to stay in the relationship. Even if they’ve fallen for their affair partner or are unhappy in the “committed relationship”, they still don’t want to lose anything.
Will They Change?
Despite what they say or do, they won’t magically turn into a decent person who truly wants to be loyal to you after being caught.
There are rare exceptions where they stop cheating but the odds are incredibly low and almost always regretted. Yet, 70% will want to believe they’re the exception, that this person really loves them and will buy into their excuses.
Don’t Ask For Too Many Details.
If you caught your partner cheating and still have feelings or hopes for the relationship, the last thing you want to face is knowing the details. It’s SO heartbreaking. Trust me, it’s less painful to believe their excuses than to understand the full reality.
What Happens When You Stay?
Staying with a cheater is a life full of trust issues, triggers, and likely more heartbreak. Forgive them at the cost of your own peace, but remember, forgiving and staying are two different things. If you can’t forgive, you’ll always carry that hurt and bitterness.
They Meant To Hurt You..
The internet is full of stories about cheaters and the price they paid. But let’s be real, your partner has probably read those too. You two might have had repeated conversations about cheating but they did it anyway. Do you really think they didn’t know you’d be hurt?
Letting Go Will Be Hard..
Letting go of someone you love, made a sacred commitment to, or even built a family with, and believed in is one of the hardest things ever. Most people can’t do it, so they stay for more and end up deeply regretting it. And almost all, especially busted affairs, lead to repeat cheating, whether you catch it or not.
What To Do If You Can’t Seem To Forgive Your Partner?
If you can’t forgive, why not just leave? Cheating back makes you no different from them. What’s the point? If you want revenge, leave their life. That’s the real punishment!
Let Karma handle it and you can enjoy the show! Even the Bible says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
You Cheated Back And Got Caught! OML!
I’m about to be raw with you. You played the game and got tangled in your own mess. Your partner cheated, so you tried to outdo them, and now you’re caught and clueless.
Can this get any worse?
Cheating back is weak. It’s just a pathetic show of insecurity and no self-respect. Your partner cheated on you? So what?
And you? You stooped to their level. Big mistake. But hey, what’s done is done. You’re in this mess, you’ve got two options, and both need some serious guts.
It Is What It Is.
You sit your partner down, look them straight in the eyes, and spill the truth. No excuses, no blaming. You two made your choices. Then you can try to fix.
But reality check! Trust is almost impossible to fix. It’s like gluing a broken vase back together. Even if you manage it, the cracks will always show.
Just Go Away.
This mess? It’s beyond fixing. Walk away.
This isn’t just about them and their actions. This is about YOU. Go and deal with why you just had to cheat back, you deserve more from life. Life’s too short for all these drama and betrayal.
You’ve got one shot at this. Choose wisely.
What Is Considered Cheating Though?
- If you’re wondering how far you can go without it being called cheating, you’re already cheating. You’re on some real-shaky ground if you’re thinking about it.
- Flirting? Yes, you’re cheating.
- Emotional intimacy with someone else? Absolutely cheating.
- Spending unnecessary time with someone who isn’t your partner? Yep, that’s all cheating. It’s that slippery slope that starts with a harmless hug and ends in chaos.
More..
- Your relationship should be rock-solid, and if anything tries to mess with it, handle it quickly and firmly. You’ve picked your spouse as your life partner and best friend. Anything that shakes up that bond weakens everything.
- Respect your partner. They’re not a backup plan to always go home to while you’re exploring other options.
- Set firm boundaries and consequences.
- If something feels off, it is off. Trust your gut.
- Temptation is always around. No late night texts, no “hang outs.” You either fully respect your relationship, or you don’t.
- Commit, or don’t commit at all. There’s no middle ground.
Anything less is for the weak. Cheating back is for the weak. Be strong, be loyal, and never, ever question how far is too far.
Bye! Keeping up the attitude was a hassle!
