Let’s talk about titles and fidelity (being faithful).
Many people think that once they start a serious relationship or get married, they/their partner will automatically stop cheating. It sounds like they believe that there’s a magic switch that will make them faithful.
It would be great and mentally settling if such a switch existed, but it doesn’t. Sorry.
I understand that commitment feels serious, but a title won’t change your behavior, no matter how much you believe it will.
Anyway, many people say, “I’ll/they’ll stop once I/we get married.”
Yeah, right!
A person will only stop being unfaithful when they choose to value monogamy on their own, not just because they have a relationship title or a ring on their finger.
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Many people think all these problems will disappear once they get married.
Marriage is serious, but its obligations mainly matter to those who are very religious, have strong morals, or don’t want to lose half their stuff. Even these people struggle with temptation. We all do. What stops someone from cheating is their choice not to.
When someone truly commits to another person, it doesn’t matter what stage their relationship is in—dating, exclusive, engaged, or married. If they don’t want to cheat, they won’t. Marriage and other commitments should help your relationship, not be the reason you’re not being able to breathe and now you have a case of infidelity.
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Some people don’t even believe in traditional monogamy but are still married. So, putting too much importance on marriage isn’t accurate because people define their own relationships in very different ways.
Strange but true!
I’m not saying the other person is a victim. But when you choose to stay, you’re accepting that treatment and way of thinking. We all have a choice, but people, especially our partners, are good at making us forget that.
I know many people also get married for the wrong reasons. This explains why they weren’t faithful. They cheated throughout their relationship, hurt their partner emotionally (and sometimes physically), and then tried to fix things with a ring and empty promises.
Basically, if someone is a consistent cheater, don’t expect any commitment to change that. They need to choose fidelity on their own to have any chance of success.
Just leave them alone.
