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Last Updated on July 21, 2025 by Grace Oluchi
- You ever watched a teenager laugh with their friends, then get home and shut down like a light switch?
- Ever walked past your teen’s room and felt the air in there thick, like sadness was sitting on the floor next to them?
- You ever had to Google “how to talk to a teenager” because no matter what you say, they look right through you?
Yeah. Most parents and teachers are not ready for what today’s teens are going through. Not emotionally. Not mentally. Not even technologically.
The world these teens are growing up in? It’s not the world you and I grew up in.
And trying to raise them using your own childhood as a blueprint is like trying to charge an iPhone with a Nokia charger. It just won’t plug in.
📋 Table of Contents
The Key Takeaway.
If you’re not willing to unlearn the parenting and teaching styles you were raised with, you’re not ready to raise or teach a teenager in this era. These teens are not “too sensitive.” They are overloaded. And pretending otherwise is just easier than owning up to the fact that maybe, just maybe, we’re the ones falling short.
Why “Behaving Strangely” Isn’t Always Bad Behavior.
This is about that weird teenage silence, the one that creeps in around age 13, when your bubbly child suddenly becomes a part-time zombie.
- They’ll grunt instead of talk.
- They hide in their room like they’re dodging the FBI.
- They say “I’m fine” in that tone that makes your stomach twist.
Listen, that is not rebellion. That is survival.
Teenagers today are dodging bullets you can’t always see:
- Social media that constantly screams “You’re not enough.”
- Pressure to be perfect in school, perfect online, perfect to strangers.
- Loneliness even when surrounded by “friends.”
- And that quiet voice in their head saying: “You’re falling behind. Everyone else is doing better.”
That “bad attitude” isn’t always attitude.
- Sometimes it’s depression in disguise.
- Sometimes it’s anxiety wrapped up in silence.
- And sometimes, it’s a whole breakdown hidden in a hoodie.
A Guide To Mental Health In Teenagers.
Stop Taking It Personal.
Your teenager’s mood swings are not about you. Their silence is not an insult. Their eye rolls are not a middle finger to your parenting.
Sometimes they literally don’t have the emotional bandwidth to be “pleasant.” They’re not mad at you. They’re drowning. Try asking:
“What’s one thing today that felt too heavy for you?”
Instead of:
“Why are you always like this?”
Create Space, Not Interrogations.
Don’t ask 21 questions like you’re hosting a game show. If you ant them to open up, then shut up sometimes. Just be there.
Sit with them in the quiet. Make snacks. Watch something together. Let them feel your presence before they trust you with their pain. Trust is built when they know they won’t be punished for their honesty.
Be A Detector, Not A Dictator.
Start noticing the little things:
- Sudden weight loss or gain.
- Sleeping all day.
- Grades dropping.
- No interest in stuff they used to love.
- Being constantly irritable or numb.
These aren’t “teenage drama.” They’re red flags.
Big ones.
If your teenager was bleeding, you’d get them help, right? So why do we ignore the emotional bleeding just because it’s not visible?
Teach Emotional Literacy, Don’t Expect Them To Know.
Teens don’t just magically know how to express themselves. They don’t wake up one day fluent in emotional language.
If all they’ve seen is you bottling stuff up, lashing out, or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not…
Then guess what they’ll do?
If you want emotionally healthy teens, model it:
- Say “I feel overwhelmed today.”
- Say “I’m sorry for snapping. That wasn’t okay.”
- “Let’s figure this out together.”
Normalize messy conversations. Emotional safety doesn’t come from rules. It comes from relationship.
Pull Them Closer When They Push Away.
I know. It’s tempting to say, “They don’t want me around.” But what they really mean is:
“I don’t know how to let you in without falling apart.”
- So when they isolate?
- Text them anyway.
- Knock on the door anyway.
- Buy their favorite snack. Sit on their bed.
Don’t force them to talk. Just remind them you’re not going anywhere.
Don’t Outsource This To “School.”
- Yes, schools should have counselors.
- Yes, teachers should be trained.
But you know what? Schools are overwhelmed too. And most teachers are barely surviving themselves.
So stop expecting them to do what you’re too tired or too scared to do.
Mental health starts at home. And if you’re emotionally checked out, your teen can feel it, loud and clear.
Validate. Validate. Validate.
You don’t have to agree with everything your teenager says. But if you invalidate them constantly, by saying
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You don’t have real problems.”
- “Wait till you start paying bills.”
You’re not toughening them up. You’re teaching them their pain doesn’t matter. That is how trauma starts. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just say:
“That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk or just sit here?”
This is not a checklist. This is a wake-up call. If you’re raising, teaching, or influencing teens right now… You are holding someone’s becoming in your hands. So do it softly. Do it smartly. And do it like they matter more than your pride. Because they do. And please don’t say: “When I was your age…”
