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Dear Dirty Man.. (An Open Letter To Dirty Men). 

Dear Gentleman,

Bad hygiene and dirty habits lead to nasty skin infections, gum disease, and other gross stuff you don’t want. Plus, nobody wants to be near someone who smells bad or looks like they just rolled out of bed.

Cleaning up can be done in a few minutes. You’ll feel better and people will treat you better. Confidence starts with being clean, and trust me, everyone will notice.

I’m going to tell you the basics. If you’re not doing them, you probably have visible dead skin, and you might smell bad. 

You might think, “But women love sweaty, dirty, manly men.” Well, 

  • Sweating from a workout IS SEXY!
  • Sweating from love making IS SEXY!
  • Sweating from a protest for justice IS SEXY!
  • Sweating from mowing the lawn IS SEXY!
  • Sweating from making dinner IS SEXY!

But marinating in your own sweat for days because you aren’t bothered to clean up is very disgusting. 

Putting your partner in the position to always complain is absolutely not sexy.

  • Good hygiene can help you get ahead at work.
  • It makes you seem more competent and confident. 
  • It will help your relationship with yourself too.

Cleaning up has zero disadvantages to you.

Please, for the love of God, clean up.

What if you can’t shower? 

  • Wear deodorant. 
  • Wear a standard perfume. 
  • Wash your neck. It will smell and bad if you don’t. 
  • Wash your face. You will look obviously dirty if you don’t. 
  • Wipe your butt and genitals. They know how to ooze out. 

It is not that hard!

The things you do to your skin now are going to affect how it looks. They also affect your life span.

Please wear clean clothes every day. You will smell terrible if you don’t, no matter how clean your body is. 

If your penis is not dry after peeing, your legs and everything near your penis are going to smell like pee. Use water to clean it.

Your penis is not a no-maintenance organ. Wash it. 

Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look dirty? Bath! 

Look again. Did you miss a spot shaving? Is there food in your beard? Just look at yourself in the mirror.

When you brush your teeth, clean your gums and your tongue or your breath will smell. 

Brush your teeth before trying to kiss your partner. 

Please!

If you don’t have any clean clothes to wear, ask yourself why you’re not washing them. 

Wash your hands and clean under your nails. Dirty nails are not cute or manly, they’re ridiculously gross. 

No body spray on earth is a substitute for a shower. 

If your day starts with you skipping a bath, by mid-afternoon you’ll stink. Please make it a habit to shower every day. Soap, water, and a good scrub are your friends.

There’s nothing attractive about earwax build-up. Or ear hair. 

And any hair on your head, your face, or your body, groom it. Trim, wash, comb. Do what needs to be done. It’s all basic hygiene.

Wash your clothes regularly, and please, do us all a favor and iron them. Wrinkled, smelly clothes are red flags.

Keep your breath fresh, or at least chew gum if you’re out and have been quiet for a while. Nobody deserves your bad breath.

Scratching your groin in public is far from demure. 

Spitting on the streets should be a thing of the past. 

You might think no one’s paying attention, but trust me, they are, and it’s never the kind of attention you want.

Sincerely, 

Someone Who Wants You to Smell Better and Look Your Best. 

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