Mental Health

Borderline personality disorder relationship.

BPD makes navigating relationships harder. Borderline personality disorder relationships are marked by intense emotions, wobbly self-image, and stormy interpersonal dynamics. Understanding BPD relationships is crucial. In this article, we will explore BPD traits, challenges, and plans. Join us as we delve into the realm of BPD relationships and also offer guidance.

What it is Borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder, or BPD, is a mental health issue where people have strong mood swings, trouble getting along with others, and act without thinking.

Asian couple are quarreling at home

People with BPD really fear being left alone and often struggle to control their feelings, especially anger. They might do risky things like drive dangerously or harm themselves. These actions can make friendships and relationships hard to keep.

BPD is part of a group of mental health problems known as “Cluster B” personality disorders. These disorders involve unpredictable and intense behaviors. Personality disorders are long-lasting patterns of behavior that don’t change easily and can cause problems in life and relationships.

Symptoms of BPD.

  • Quick mood changes: People with BPD can go from happy to upset very fast, often because of small things or feeling like others don’t want them around.
  • Acting without thinking: They might spend money without planning, use drugs, eat too much, have unsafe sex, or drive in a dangerous way.
  • Rocky relationships: They tend to have relationships that go from perfect to terrible quickly.
  • Confused about who they are: They often feel empty and change who they are to fit different friends or situations.
  • Feeling empty: A deep feeling of emptiness or boredom is common in people with BPD.
  • Scared of being left alone: They go to great lengths to keep people close, and might get upset or sad if they have to be apart from someone they care about.
  • Suicidal thoughts: They might hurt themselves on purpose, like cutting or burning their skin, and sometimes think about or try to end their life.

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Causes of BPD.

  • Bad childhood experiences: If someone had a tough time as a kid, like being abused or ignored, they might be more likely to get BPD. These bad experiences can mess with the brain’s growth, making it hard for them to handle their feelings when they’re older.
  • Family history: BPD might run in families. If someone in your family has it, you might have a higher chance of having it too.
  • Brain differences: People with BPD might have brains that are built a bit differently, especially in parts that deal with feelings and making quick decisions.
  • Life situations: Growing up in a home that’s all over the place, feeling alone, or having trouble making friends can also make someone more likely to have BPD. These things can make it harder for them to manage their emotions and might lead to unhealthy ways of coping

Diagnosis of BPD.

To diagnose BPD, a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker uses a guide called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. They’ll talk to the person about their symptoms and ask questions about their health history, family’s mental health, jobs they’ve had, and how well they control their impulses.

What if you are in a relationship with someone with BPD?

Asian couple quarreling.

If you are in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder (BPD), it can be challenging and overwhelming at times. However, it’s important to remember that with proper treatment and support, people with BPD can improve their symptoms and their relationships.

Tips for supporting your partner with BPD.

  • Educate yourself about BPD: Learn as much as you can about the disorder, its symptoms, and how it can affect relationships. This can help you understand your partner’s behaviors and feelings.
  • Encourage your partner to seek treatment: Treatment for BPD typically includes therapy, medication, and possibly group support. Encourage your partner to seek treatment and offer to support them in any way you can.
  • Practice healthy communication: Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important when one partner has BPD. Practice active listening, validate your partner’s feelings, and avoid blaming or criticizing them.
Young couple sitting together on a couch. Supportive partner concept.
  • Set boundaries: It’s important to establish healthy boundaries in any relationship. This is especially important when your partner has BPD, as they may struggle with boundaries themselves. Be clear about your needs and limits and stick to them.
  • Take care of yourself: It’s important to take care of your own mental health and well-being when you are in a relationship with someone with BPD. This may include seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Remember that supporting someone with BPD can be challenging, but it’s also rewarding. With patience, compassion, and understanding, you can help your partner manage their symptoms and build a stronger relationship.


There is no cure for borderline personality disorder (BPD), but there are several effective treatments that can help manage symptoms and improve quality of life. Treatment for BPD typically includes a combination of therapy, medication, and possibly group support.

Here are some common treatments for BPD:

  • Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): This is a type of therapy that focuses on teaching skills to manage intense emotions, improve relationships, and reduce impulsive behavior.
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to BPD symptoms.
  • Schema-focused therapy: This is a type of therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
  • Medication: Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics may be prescribed to manage symptoms of BPD, such as depression, anxiety, and impulsivity.
  • Group therapy: Group therapy can provide a supportive environment for people with BPD to connect with others who understand their struggles.

It’s important to note that treatment for BPD can take time and patience and may require a combination of different approaches. It’s also important to work with a mental health professional who has experience treating BPD to ensure that you receive the most effective treatment for your needs.

The Key Takeaway.

People with BPD may struggle with intense and unstable emotions and difficulty in maintaining stable relationships. 

Silhouette of a depressed woman.

There is still much to be learned about BPD. Ongoing clinical trials and research are providing new insights into the disorder and its treatment. With continued research and collaboration between researchers, clinicians, and individuals with lived experience of BPD, we may be able to develop new and more effective treatments for this challenging disorder.


What are the signs of a borderline personality disorder in a relationship?

In a relationship, the signs may include intense mood swings, fear of abandonment, impulsiveness and difficulty regulating emotions.

How can I support my partner with borderline personality disorder in our relationship?

You can support your partner with BDP by validating their emotions, setting clear boundaries. You can also encourage them to seek professional help.

Can someone with borderline personality disorder have a healthy relationship?

Yes, it is possible for someone with borderline personality disorder to have a healthy relationship with proper treatment and therapy. However, it may require effort from both partners to maintain the relationship.

What are some common challenges in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

Common challenges may include difficulty with trust, fear of abandonment, emotional dysregulation, and impulsiveness.

Can borderline personality disorder be cured in a relationship?

Borderline personality disorder cannot be cured, but it can be managed with therapy and treatment. A supportive and understanding relationship can be beneficial for someone with borderline personality disorder, but it is not a cure.

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