Last Updated on April 27, 2025 by Pen Pixel
Meeehn! I need better habits… but I don’t even know where to start.
You see… if that sentence lives rent-free in your mind, welcome.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck. And it’s not your fault, most advice out there was made for robots, not real people with real struggles.
I’m going to explain why you’re stuck… And give you simple ways to finally build habits that stick and stick for good.
The Key Takeaway.
If you’re stuck in a loop of “I want better habits, but I don’t know where to start,” the issue isn’t laziness or lack of motivation. It’s that you’re trying to build a skyscraper on sand. You need a solid foundation, not just willingness. This guide shows you exactly how to create that foundation.
You’re Not the Problem.
Get one thing straight, you are not the problem. When your habits don’t stick, the first thing your brain says is:
- “Hm. I suck.”
- “I’m just not disciplined enough.”
- “I guess I don’t want it bad enough.”
Pause. STOP right there.
Because you’ve just diagnosed yourself using shame and by all means, that diagnosis is a stinky lie.
So, What’s the Real Problem?
The real problem is:
- You’re trying to start a new life with an old map.
- You’re blaming your exhaustion on lack of ambition.
- You’re using tools made for a life you don’t even live.
- And if nobody has ever told you this before, let me be the first, you don’t need to change YOU (because that’s what you’re trying to do). You only need to change the conditions around you.
Because when the environment is right, when the pressure is off, when there’s no shame, you’ll grow without forcing it.
The Habit Loop: Cue, Craving, Response, Reward.
According to Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit, every habit follows a loop and as soon as you can understand this loop, the more you can identify what needs to change.
- Cue: A trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode.
- Craving: The desire for a change in state.
- Response: The behavior you perform.
- Reward: The benefit you gain from the behavior.
How Do You Build Better Habits Now?
Start with Identity, Not Outcomes.
Instead of saying, “I want to run a marathon,” say, “I am a runner.” This shifts your focus from the outcome to the identity, making it easier to stick to the habit.
Make It RIDICULOUSLY Easy.
Listen, start with a habit so small it seems silly. If you want to start reading, read one page a day. This lowers the pressure to doing it and makes it more likely you’ll stick with it.
Minimize Decision-Making.
Reduce the number of decisions you have to make about your new habit. For example, lay out your workout clothes the night before. This reduces decision fatigue and makes it easier to follow through.
Try Habit Stacking.
Add a new habit to an existing one. Maybe after you brush your teeth, do five push-ups. This leverage is an already existing way to build new habits. And it’s right at your fingertips.
Use Temptation Bundling.
Pair a habit you want to build with something you enjoy. Only listen to your favorite podcast while exercising. This can make the new habit more appealing and doable for you.
Always Track Your Progress.
Use a habit tracker to monitor your consistency. Seeing your progress can be seriously motivating and helps to remind you of the habit loop.
Have an Accountability System.
Tell someone about your habit goals. Having someone check in on your progress increases the likelihood that you’ll stick with it. It’s psychological, don’t overthink it.
Visualise the Cost of Inaction.
I know it’s easy to postpone change, postpone it some more and much more postponement until it’s taken too long. Something that helps me is to imagine where I’ll be in a year if I don’t make this change. Use that fear as motivation to start now.
The Febreze Story.
Procter & Gamble struggled to market Febreze until they understood the habit loop. They realized that people would use it if it became part of their cleaning routine. Did you know that just by marketing it as the final step in cleaning, they created a new habit loop:
- Cue: Finished cleaning.
- Craving: Desire for a fresh-smelling home.
- Response: Spray Febreze.
- Reward: A pleasant scent.
This understanding turned Febreze into a billion-dollar product. Read the full story.
