Mental Health

Using Humor In Disagreements. Yay or Nay?

Turning an enemy into a friend is the best way to beat them. I didn’t realize how strong a good laugh could be until I found out by chance.

Laughing together is a great way to deal with arguments with your partner. Just remember to laugh about the situation, not at each other.

But when you’re really upset, it’s tough to think about humor. And be careful, because jokes can sometimes make things worse.

The Key Takeaway.

Humor, when used right, can really help. It makes arguments seem less important and adds a touch of kindness to tough times. Even if you don’t see it right away, a good laugh can make things better.

What Are The Basics?

Laughter is a mini workout for your chest if you don’t know. It opens up the space in your chest, letting in more air. This helps slow down your heartbeat, making you feel relaxed and bringing your body and mind to a peaceful state.

How Can Humor Help Your Relationship? 

  • Laughter can make your relationship stronger. It’s good for your health and happiness, and it helps you feel closer to each other.
  • Laughing together makes it easier to talk about tough topics, like personal issues or family matters.
  • A joke at the right time can calm things down when you’re arguing and help you find a solution.
  • Laughter helps you deal with tough times by helping you stay positive through disappointments and losses.
  • Seeing the funny side of things can make problems seem smaller and less scary, which can stop them from hurting your relationship.
  • Being playful and joking around can spark new ideas and make you feel more alive.

How Does Humor Work Between You and Your Partner?

  • Laughter stops the fight for control and quickly makes things less tense, so you both can feel connected again and see things more clearly.
  • It encourages you to be more open-minded. When you laugh together, you can break away from set patterns of thinking and acting, which can help you see the issue differently and come up with a creative fix.
  • It helps you not take things too personally. When you’re having fun, you can hear things in a new way and be okay with learning about yourself, even if it’s something you don’t like.
  • It helps you be more honest. Laughing makes you feel more open and lets your true feelings come out.

What Are The Rules?

Make sure both of you know it’s a joke. 

Humor should be fun, not hurtful. If your teasing is mean or one-sided, it can harm your relationship.


  • Do I feel relaxed and connected to my partner right now?
  • Is my goal to share happiness, not to criticize or hurt?
  • Will my partner understand and enjoy the joke?
  • Am I sending friendly vibes, not angry or unfriendly ones?
  • Can I tell if my partner is okay with my humor?
  • If my partner doesn’t like the joke, can I stop and say sorry?

If you answered yes to most of these question then you can try your luck!

Don’t hide your true feelings behind jokes.

Humor is great for getting through tough times but, it shouldn’t be used to avoid dealing with real emotions. If you’re using laughter to mask hurt, fear, anger, or disappointment, it can lead to confusion and trust issues with your partner.


  • Is it at your partner’s expense? Will it bring you closer or push you apart?
  • Are you aiming for a shared laugh, or is there a hidden motive?
  • Do you make fun of yourself a lot? It’s okay to joke about yourself, but doing it too much might be a sign of insecurity.
  • Do you joke around all the time, even when you should be serious? If your partner thinks your jokes are out of place, it might be time to rethink your approach.
  • Does your partner see you as reliable, or just the funny one?

If you’re joking to avoid facing your feelings, it’s better to be honest and open about what you’re really feeling. Humor should bring you together, not be a way to dodge the important stuff.

Personal Tips.

  • Watch how they react. You can tell if your partner likes your jokes by their body language. Do they really seem happy, or are they just pretending?
  • Keep the humor kind. Jokes should be fun, not mean. If you say something that could hurt, it might push your away.
  • Share private jokes. Jokes that only you two get can make you feel closer and add intimacy to your relationship.
  • Start with jokes about yourself. It’s safe to make fun of your own mistakes. Once you’re good at that, you can gently tease each other. After all, we all make mistakes. Even if the joke falls flat or comes out wrong, the only person you risk offending is yourself.

How To Find Your Humor? 

  • You don’t have to be a pro at making jokes. The main thing is to lighten up and ease any tension. 
  • It’s okay to be silly. Acting playful can make both of you feel better and help sort out disagreements.
  • Being playful is natural. Just like when you were a kid and didn’t care what others thought, you can be that way again.

How To Start?

Find fun things you like to do and bring them into your relationship. It could be:

  • Telling or listening to jokes.
  • Watching funny videos/movies.
  • Dancing like you have two left feet.
  • Singing in the shower.
  • Letting your imagination run wild.
  • Being dramatic.

The more you have fun, the better you get at it. You can even learn from experts in fun:

  • Pets: They love to play and be silly and can be great companions.
  • Children: They’re the best at playing and can help you remember how to have fun.

As you play more, you’ll find new ways to keep your relationship happy and handle any disagreements.

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