Look, it’s not a secret. If a straight guy comes up to me, I know what’s up. Men are visual creatures, right? So if he’s offering friendship, I already know he’s into how I look. And yeah upon yeah, I know he’s thinking about sex too!
But cut the line! Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I owe you sex. EW!
My point? Women get it. Some don’t, some pretend not to, but if your looks are what got him talking, you better believe sex is on his mind.
Men may want it, but women decide how much they get. So ladies, don’t act like you’re all innocent here because there are plenty of “just friends” who are actually hooking up with their male friends.
Okay “can’t be just friends” might be a bit harsh, but can straight men and women really just be friends? Sure, but it’s a whole mess.
The Key Takeaway.
I think straight guys and girls can totally be just friends. It’s possible, and honestly, it happens all the time. Sure, you might like how I look and think about sex, but once you get to know me and see the boundaries I’ve set, you’ll realize I’m not about to cross those lines. We can still vibe, no problem.
But, it’s not the same for every woman. This whole “just friends” thing? Sometimes it’s just a lie for all the sexual tension underneath.
Why Can’t Women And Men Be “Just Friends”?
Prepare for a very long read!
All relationships, whether casual, familiar, or romantic, are built on time spent together, trust, communication, and respect. Sure, other factors come into play, but these are the basics. So, why do things mostly get tricky between guys and girls?
Comfort Levels.
Guys usually feel more comfortable around girls they trust in ways they don’t with other guys. They let their guard down, which creates a deeper bond. This bond can sometimes be mistaken for romantic feelings or it can actually be romantic feelings.
For guys, sharing such a connection is a big deal. It can be confusing, leading to complications. And no one wants that.
Perception Matters.
Another thing that really gets overlooked here is your perception. Sometimes, these guy-girl friendships start looking a lot more than just friends. I mean, the bond deepens, so does the whole “are they or aren’t they?” vibe. People start talking, assuming things, and that pressure can get real heavy.
You either end up caving to that pressure, and the friendship probably takes a hit. Or you shake off those assumptions.
Sexual Tendencies.
Sexual instincts also come into play. Guys are often driven by their urges. The way they think, daydream, fantasize is all rooted in those physical, primal desires.
Your guy friends? Yeah, they’ve either wanted to sleep with you or still do. And let’s be honest, they’d do it in a heartbeat if you offered.
The issue is how men and women approach sex. Most women treat it like picking from a fancy wine menu. They want to choose something that suits their taste and choice. Guys, though? They treat sex like they’ve been stranded in the desert and they’ll drink anything.
This is because women generally have more freedom to choose who they want to sleep with, while guys are stuck trying to prove they’re worth it. Now it makes sense when you hear women say they genuinely see their guy friends as just friends, only to see that he has a sexual interest in them.
It’s Not Always The Man Though, Women Are Guilty Too!
Yes it’s true! Let’s not act like some women are innocent here! Especially when it comes to married men and men in relationships. Women like that are born with “psychopathic traits” (just like men) and they tend to do exactly what the men do. So, they can engage in something called partner poaching. Basically, they go after men who are already taken, just for the thrill of it or to outdo women they’re jealous of or to feel good about themselves. And guess what? The men they successfully “poach” usually have those same toxic, psychopathic traits.
So yeah, those women chasing after taken guys are just as shady as the men who cheat on their partners.
Talk about deserving each other! LOOOL!
Can Men And Women Truly, Truly Be “Just Friends”?
Men and women can definitely be genuine friends. This is just the general breakdown of how things usuallygo down.
For a true friendship to work between a guy and a girl, romantic and sexual vibes have to be totally and completely out of the picture.
Like, zero. Nada.
And keeping it that way? It takes effort, constant effort. How hard can it be, right? Just walk into your male friend’s room and see if he’s not thinking you want sex.
Their minds run wild, but seriously, you shouldn’t even be in a “just friends” room. You’re just going to shoot yourself in the leg.
And if there’s something stopping sex from happening, even better! Maybe one or both have partners, or one is tight with the other’s partner (that doesn’t stop some people anyway!).
The point really is, it’s really hard.
What This Means for Those In Relationships?
Trust is important in a romantic relationship, but so are boundaries. If your partner’s opposite-sex friendships are making you uncomfortable, set those boundaries! This isn’t about controlling them, it’s about protecting the relationship.
We also need to stop gaslighting our partners when they are concerned about these “friendships.” If there’s reason to be suspicious, and evidence that your partner is romantically interested in their opposite-sex friend, don’t brush it off.
Trust me, you don’t want to brush it off. Why?
That man who swears “she’s just a friend”? He’s most likely attracted to her. She’s in his contact list for the same reason you have read above. If you’re suspecting he’s doing something with her, 99% of the time, he either is or he’s about to.
