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I wish I could explain how many times I’ve told myself to just “relax”…
And my body looked me dead in the face and said,
“Girl, I can’t. I’m still holding your trauma.”
Yeah. That one stung.
You ever feel fine, but your chest is tight for no reason?
You keep twitching, zoning out, jumping at harmless sounds, or needing silence like you’re on sensory overload?
Same.
And it’s not because you’re “crazy.” It’s because your nervous system is begging for a break. And no, deep breaths and cute little bubble baths aren’t gonna make you feel better when your body still thinks you’re in danger.
The Key Takeaway.
Your mental health is not just in your head. It’s in your body. Your nervous system literally stores fear, panic, and survival mode. So when people say “just think positive” or “choose happiness,” but your body still feels like it’s under attack? That’s not your fault. That’s your nervous system doing its job, yes, even when it’s ruining your life.
What Even Is the Nervous System?
Your nervous system is your body’s internal alarm system. It tells you when it’s safe to chill, when to run for your life, and when to freeze and play dead.
Two moods:
- Fight or Flight (sympathetic): a.k.a. “There’s danger, panic now.”
- Rest and Digest (parasympathetic): a.k.a. “You’re safe, baby. Relax.”
So, your body can get STUCK in fight or flight. For years.
And when that happens, your brain is like, “Why am I anxious for no reason?”
But your nervous system is like, “Uh, I never left the battlefield.”
How Your Mental Health and Nervous System Are Connected.
Look, mental health isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s also a body issue. You can read all the affirmations in the world. Say “I am worthy” till your voice cracks. But if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe? It won’t believe a damn word.
Let me say that again.
If your body still feels unsafe, your brain can’t heal.
And no amount of journaling, therapy, or mindfulness will land until your nervous system chills the hell out.
- You’re trying to heal. You’re doing “the work.”
- But you flinch when someone raises their voice.
- You panic in crowds.
- You overthink every silence.
- You sleep with tension in your jaw.
- You crave rest but feel guilty when you take it.
- You hate chaos, but you also don’t trust peace.
Why? Because your nervous system doesn’t believe the war is over.
- It remembers your childhood.
- It remembers the betrayal, the abandonment, the years you survived instead of lived.
- It remembers being overcontrolled, overlooked, overwhelmed.
And now? It’s trying to protect you from everything. Even love, calm and joy too!
That’s not you being “difficult.” That’s your body doing too good of a job.
What Are The Symptoms?
- You can’t sit still.
- Can’t get up.
- Tired all the time, but wired at night.
- Constantly scanning the room for threats.
- Needing noise, needing silence.
- Needing something but not sure what.
- Stomach issues that doctors can’t explain.
- Getting triggered by tiny things.
- Feeling “lazy” but actually just frozen.
People just say “be strong” or “just push through.” But pushing through when your nervous system is dysregulated is like sprinting on two broken legs. You’ll move (of course) but you’ll pay later.
Trauma Lives In the Body.
You know how people say “trauma lives in the body”? They weren’t joking.
Your nervous system doesn’t speak English. It speaks sensation.
Heart pounding, stomach sinking, throat tightening. That’s its language.
So when you felt unsafe as a child, whether it was abuse, neglect, poverty, yelling, or just being invisible, your nervous system downloaded that pattern.
Now every time something feels similar? BOOM. Your body reacts like it’s back there again.
This is why “logical” reassurance doesn’t work. Because your nervous system doesn’t care about logic. It cares about safety. And history. And patterns.
How Can You Retain Your Nervous System To Feel Safe Again.
That means:
- Grounding exercises. Not just yoga poses, but feeling your feet on the floor and your breath in your chest.
- Cold showers. I know, they suck. But they reset your system like magic.
- Saying “I’m safe” out loud, over and over, even if it feels fake.
- Letting yourself cry when your body wants to.
- Shaking. Literally. Like an animal after a threat. (Look it up, it’s what trauma-informed somatics recommends).
- Making peace with stillness. Learning to rest without guilt.
- Slowing down even when your mind screams “Go.”
Also?
- Start noticing who makes your body tense.
- Who drains your energy.
- Who gives you that weird pit in your stomach.
That’s your nervous system clocking red flags before your brain can process them.
It’s not overreacting, it’s protecting you. Respect it.
