Ever caught yourself crying so much over a man like you’ve been slicing multiple bags of onions all day? That’s a VERY sad life. And I hate to know that this is someone’s reality out there.
Some relationships do nothing but strip away your joy, one layer at a time. So, let’s get into why some men are basically onions. Messy, complicated, and sometimes better left alone. By the end of this, you’ll know if you’re dating an “onion” and, more importantly, how to handle it.
The Key Takeaway.
Girl, life’s too short to waste on guys who tear you down bit by bit. Onions are great in the kitchen, adding flavor and all, but what’s the point of a guy who just makes you cry? Relationships should bring happiness, not drain you emotionally. Don’t settle for an onion when you deserve a rose.
Why The Word “Onion?”
Onions make you cry because they release stuff that irritates your eyes. Some men do the same emotionally. Yes, through lies, gaslighting, or just not caring enough, leaving you in tears more than smiles.
Onions have layers, and so do these problematic men. Hiding behind excuses like “I didn’t mean it,” “That’s just how I am,” or “You’re too sensitive.” They just want to keep you confused and heartbroken. And just like the sting from cutting an onion, some men make you feel pain without even trying. Emotional unavailability, dismissiveness, no effort! If that sounds familiar, RUN!
How to Know If You’re Dating a Man or an Onion.
- Does he make you cry so often? You might be dating an onion.
- When you think about his personality, do you find understanding and growth or more excuses, red flags, and unresolved baggage? Girl, that’s a whole sac of onions.
- He’s always irritated, there’s constant criticism, minimum effort, or passive-aggressive comments. Irritation shouldn’t be his default setting in your relationship.
- You keep hoping he’ll be sweet. Sweet onions exist yes, but do sweet men who treat you poorly really exist? 👀
- Does he leave you questioning your worth, doubting yourself, confused and unable to move forward? ONION!!
- Onions are tricky to cut without the proper knife, if he is impossible to deal with without bending over backward, letting his bad behavior slide or constantly walking on eggshells, if at all he’s that hard to handle, he’s an onion.
- Is his negativity more than the joy in your relationship? That’s an onion. Way too much onion actually.
Why Do We Stay with Onions?
A question many ask after seeing someone stay in a toxic relationship is “why stay when it hurts so much?” Well, here are a few reasons why I will stay with an onion:
- Fear. Nobody wants to be alone, I don’t want to do life alone and let’s be honest, even the society makes single life look like failure. So, even if the relationship feels like a slow bleed, at least I’m not by myself.
- Attachment. I’ve poured time, energy, and love into this person. Walking away feels like throwing it away.
- Hope. I will tell myself that he’ll change. That underneath, there’s a sweeter, softer version of him waiting to come out.
Spoiler: sometimes there isn’t.
- Also, society loves to say nonsense like, “Stay for love,” or “for the sake of marriage.” It puts unnecessary pressure on people, making them believe leaving a relationship is failure, not survival.
So, when you want to ask that question, it’s really not about logic. It’s more of fear, hope, conditioning, and a lifetime of being told that any relationship is better than none. After all, onions only make you cry. They’re really good in food.
What Happens to You Psychologically When You Date an Onion?
- Their words and actions make you feel like you’re never enough. So, your self esteem drops constantly.
- You start living in anxiety. Why? The constant cycle of sweet days and sharp jabs has you on your toes, you know? Waiting for the next criticism or cold shoulder.
- You’re having trust issues and not just with your current partner, your future relationships might suffer from it too.
- Instead of seeing the problem for what it is, you start thinking you’re the reason it’s all falling apart.
- Your energy gets drained. It spills into your work, your friendships, and even your body.
What If You Can’t Seem To Leave The Onion?
- Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. They’ll remind you of your reality.
- Start your exit plan immediately, save money, find a job, or set up whatever you need to stand on your own.
- Take it slow. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Just get there.
- Most importantly, remind yourself that you don’t deserve to be treated that way.
Can You Change an Onion Into a Good Man?
Nope. An onion is an onion. It’ll always make you cry if you handle it wrong. The same goes for people, you can’t force someone to be the partner you want if they don’t want to change.
I mean, even realistically speaking, you can’t turn an onion into a man.
“If I love him more, wait longer, or try harder, he’ll change.” Girl, he will only change when he wants to and you can’t do anything about it. Walk away.
Are You an Onion Farmer?
You know sometimes, it’s not just that you’re dating an onion. You might be helping it grow. How? By tolerating bad behavior, brushing off red flags as “quirks,” or forgiving without holding them accountable.
If you’re always the one fixing things, carrying the emotional weight, or staying quiet to keep the peace, YOU ARE AN ONION FARMER.
Sweetness and kindness are amazing, but they’re not a free pass for someone to mistreat you. Stand up for yourself and don’t water the onion.
How to Spot an Onion Early?
Look for red flags like:
- He avoids deep conversations or dismisses your feelings.
- When there’s an issue, he lashes out, shuts down, or never takes responsibility.
- He makes you feel unworthy or mocks your boundaries.
- He is overly controlling.
- His actions doesn’t match his words.
- He just can’t seem to show empathy.
- You feel more stressed than happy around him.
- Your gut says something’s off.
Listen to your guts. If it says something’s off, IT IS OFF. It’s better to leave now than deal with the heartbreak later.
What If They’re Not Really an Onion?
Sometimes, the person you’re dating isn’t an onion, they’re just stuck in bad habits. If they’re genuinely sorry and willing to grow, that’s good.
But remember that real change takes time, and they have to want it for themselves, not just to keep you around because they need to change for themselves and not you. Be patient, but please, DO NOT sacrifice your peace.
It’s Okay to Leave the Kitchen.
Leaving a toxic relationship might feel like giving up, but it’s not. Staying where you’re unhappy is worse than walking away to find peace.
Society loves telling women to “fix” relationships and“keep the family together,” but it’s okay to let go. You don’t have to stay in the kitchen with an onion that keeps making you cry.
Girl, dating an onion doesn’t just sting, it leaves scars.
