Do you remember ‘the talk’ with your parents about sex? You might remember talking about it for the first time when you started your period, or when you had your first wet dreams or maybe someone’s daughter got pregnant and everyone found out about it. Anything like that could have started the conversation.
Whether you were super tight with your parents or couldn’t stand them, having that conversation about sex was really uncomfortable!
Even if you have a good relationship with your parents, talking about something as intimate as ‘getting screwed’ or ‘screwing someone’ is something that many people still find difficult to do.
But let’s consider your parents too…
Think about how hard that conversation must have been for them. They probably felt embarrassed, nervous, or even scared for you. It’s not an easy topic for anyone to talk about, especially when it’s with your own child.
When you think about it, the whole situation could’ve actually turned out to be very funny and exciting. But at the time, no one would dare to crack a joke or laugh. Not even your parents.
With all that pressure, don’t be surprised about why your parents told ‘white lies’ to keep you in line. They were only trying to do what they thought was best for you. And those lies have even shaped how you view sex today.
So no. You’re not the A-Hole for not telling your parents that you’re sexually active.
What Does This Feel Like For You?
Recently, you think your parents suspect you’re having sex. You were hoping they wouldn’t catch on, but they figured it out.
You’re feeling so uncomfortable right now. You’re not sure how they feel about the situation, but you’re worried that they are mad at or disappointed in you. The last thing you want is to have them cut you off or stop supporting you financially. You even feel bad knowing that you have let your parents down or that they will begin to see you in a negative light.
What Can You Do?
Keep Your Sex-capades Out Of Their Home.
Even if you’re an adult, you should NOT have sex in your parents house. It’s not about rebel, maturity or trying to state your authority; it’s about “you need to show respect for your parents and their home”. I don’t think you would be very happy if your child was having sex in your house. Set those boundaries and maintain their level of respect.
Cut Out The Lying And Hiding.
There’s no need to keep lying to them, it will only lead to more issues. Instead of trying to sneak around and make up excuses, be honest about your plans.
If you’re planning on having sex, try to schedule it for a day when your parents are busy. That way, you won’t have to worry about lying to them. And by hiding and lying you are indirectly telling them that you feel there is something is wrong with what you’re doing. You don’t want to put yourself in that position.
Make It Easier For Everyone.
If your parents are already suspicious and are trying to be accepting, you should definitely tell them about it. Let them know that you’re being responsible about your sexual health and making good decisions.
They will definitely have concerns and questions for you, but it’s better to have that conversation than let them overthink and jump to conclusions.
Spend Time With Them.
Maintain a good relationship with your parents. Spending more time with them can show them that you still care about them and crave their company. This can ease any tension they feel and make it easier for them to talk to you about what they suspect.
If they’re comfortable bringing it up, awesome! But if they don’t bring it up, it might be a good time for you to start the conversation. You don’t want to let this become a big secret between you and your parents.
