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Last Updated on August 7, 2025 by Pen Pixel
I once fried plantain in engine oil.
Okay, not literally engine oil, but the heartburn said otherwise.
And the worst part? I knew that oil was shady. I just didn’t want to think too much. Because thinking = guilt = switching to bland “healthy” oils that taste like wet paper.
Ew.
But what they don’t tell you is that your cooking oil isn’t just oil. It’s either medicine or poison, nothing in between. And most people are picking their poison three times a day and calling it food.
📋 Table of Contents
The Key Takeaway.
Most cooking oils marketed as “healthy” are straight-up lying to your face. And most people don’t even realize how much their oil is wrecking their skin, their sleep, their energy, their gut, their moods, and YES, their damn mental health. Picking the right oil isn’t a fancy nutrition tip. It’s survival. And not all oils are created equal. Some of them should be in car engines, not your kitchen.
Your Oil is Either Saving Your Life or Slowly Ruining It.
We act like oil is just a neutral sidekick in cooking. Like, “Oh, it’s just oil. Just to fry something small.” Lies. That golden liquid is either working for you or against you.
There’s no in-between.
Oils don’t just sit in your food and disappear.
They live in your body. In your bloodstream. In your cells.
They affect your brain, your hormones, your heart, your weight, even how you poop.
And yet, people are still over here pouring in sunflower oil like it’s holy water. No!
I ranked 12 cooking oils. Not by what nutritionists say on Instagram, but by what your body feels after a month of eating it. Your skin. Your digestion. Your energy. That bloated, irritated, foggy feeling? Half the time, it’s the OIL.
Did I risk my guts for this? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
12 Cooking Oils Ranked: From “Hell No” to “Give Me More.”
⚠️ Note: This is NOT a “technical chart” for health nerds. This is real-life, my lived-experience ranking. Based on taste, how it makes you feel, and whether it should be banned or bottled with love.
Vegetable Oil (aka bloating in a bottle).
Listen. If a bottle says “vegetable oil” and doesn’t tell you the actual vegetable, that’s your first red flag. It’s usually a Frankenstein mix of soy, corn, and canola, ultra-processed, bleached, deodorized, and cooked in hellfire.
- You feel sluggish?
- Joints ache?
- Hormones all over the place?
- Skin breaking out?
Check. Your. Oil.
This oil is basically plastic with flavor. No energy. No soul. Just oxidative stress on speed. THROW IT OUT. No matter how broke you are. It’s not food.
Sunflower Oil (the fake healthy girl).
She wants to be seen as light and clean. But her behind-the-scenes drama? Toxic AF.
High in omega-6 fatty acids, which isn’t bad on its own, but when it’s not balanced with omega-3s? It turns your insides into a war zone. Inflammation city.
Also, it doesn’t even taste good. Why are we pretending? Swipe left.
Canola Oil.
Marketed as “heart-healthy.” Backed by studies even. But guess what? It’s chemically processed and near always genetically modified. And don’t even get me started on how bitter it smells when hot.
Even your ancestors wouldn’t recognize it as food. If your stomach had a voice, it’d say, “Please, stop.”
Soybean Oil (now this is a silent saboteur).
You’ve probably been eating this one unknowingly, it’s in restaurant food, packaged snacks, processed everything. It’s everywhere. And it messes with estrogen levels. No joke.
- Feeling moody for no reason?
- Gaining weight in weird places?
Could be her. Delete.
Corn Oil ( useless calories with childhood trauma).
This one tastes like cheap jollof from secondary school days that gave you pimples the next morning. It’s just… greasy. That’s all. And you’ll still feel hungry after.
Nostalgic? Maybe. Nutritious? Hell no.
Palm Oil.
Ah yes, our beloved angry bird. It’s cultural. It’s tasty. It SLAPS in soups. But overheating it turns it into literal poison. It clogs, it coats, it lingers.
- Also, the stomach ache after?
- The heartburn?
Use sparingly. And only when you’re ready to face the consequences.
Butter (clarified/ghee).
Listen, ghee is butter that went to therapy. It’s stable, tasty, and full of fat-soluble vitamins. It’s what your ancestors used before industrial oils came and colonized your tastebuds.
She is a warm hug. In small doses, she heals.
Olive Oil (light, for cooking).
Yes, raw extra virgin is ideal for salads. But the light version? You can actually cook with it and it doesn’t turn into smoke and sorrow like some people say.
It’s light on the gut. Smells clean. Leaves you feeling… nourished. She’s not loud, but she’s loyal. Keep her.
Coconut Oil.
She makes your kitchen smell like vacation. And she’s stable even under heat, unlike half the people in your life. Antibacterial. Antifungal. And tastes like heaven when frying plantain.
Only downside? Heavy on the stomach if you go overboard. Doesn’t taste good in all foods though. Date her. Just don’t marry her.
Avocado Oil.
Not cheap, not common, but when you can get her? Chef’s kiss. High smoke point. Full of healthy fats. Makes food taste fresh and clean.
Luxury, but worth it. Treat yourself sometimes.
Cold-Pressed Groundnut Oil.
This one is nostalgic and nutrient-rich. When it’s cold-pressed (not chemically processed), it brings that nutty warmth and deep flavor with zero drama.
Stable and doesn’t mess with your belly. It’s the oil your grandma used for a reason. Long live tradition.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil (for raw use).
Unrefined. Full of antioxidants. Perfect for drizzling, dipping, and daily detoxing. She’s not made for high heat, but she will bless your gut lining, reduce your bloating, and clear up your skin if you treat her right.
She’s that girl. Period.
You can eat the best food, you can cook the cleanest meals. But if your oil is trash? It cancels everything. It’s like brushing your teeth with dirty water.
