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Reasons Why You’re So Turned Off By Your Husband? + Helpful Tips.

In relationships, sometimes you stop feeling attracted or in love with someone, and that can be upsetting. But it’s normal for these feelings to change over time; they won’t last forever.

If you’re wondering why you don’t feel sexually attracted to your husband anymore, it’s okay. It happens to many people. Just pause and think about it for a bit.

Relax. Really, relax. 

Before taking any drastic steps, let’s think about why you might not feel sexually attracted to your husband anymore.

The Key Takeaway.

It’s common not to feel turned on by your husband all the time. Relationships start with a strong attraction, but that feeling doesn’t stay strong every time. It’s fine if you’re not always ‘in the mood,’ but if you feel really turned off (or repulsed) by your husband, that’s something very, very concerning.

Too Many Disagreements.

More fights in relationships can make women less sexually attracted to their partners. Think about when you last felt disconnected from your husband. Are you still upset or angry about something? This might explain why you’re not feeling attracted to him.

It might be because of ongoing arguments, not solving problems, ignoring hurtful behavior, not meeting each other’s needs, or too much criticism. These things can make you feel emotionally distant and less interested in being close to your husband.

Changes In Appearance.

When your partner stops caring about how they look, it’s not just about gaining a little weight or missing a haircut. If they really stop trying to look good, it can hurt your relationship.

And if they’re not happy with how they look, it can change the way they act. This can start a bad cycle of negative feelings and being turned off.


Job stress, personal problems, bad habits, money worries, and mental health issues can all make you feel less connected to your partner.

Not having enough time together is a real problem too, especially if your husband isn’t available. But it’s not the only issue. Spending less time together can reduce the ‘closeness’ hormone, oxytocin, making you drift apart.

When this happens, you might lose interest in sex and physical closeness. To keep a marriage strong, you need to have people who can help. Getting help from a therapist to bring back the emotional bond and sexual interest in your marriage is a smart move.

Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner.

Having kids can really shake things up. Most parents agree that children change everything in ways you can’t expect. The lack of sleep, worries about their health, the costs, and family issues can all add up very quickly. This can take away from the time you spend with your partner and disrupt your sex life.

Underlying Dissatisfaction.

When couples lose respect for each other, they argue and disagree in hurtful ways. This can make them feel less attracted to each other.

Remember how perfect everything seemed when you first met your husband? Over time, if things didn’t turn out as expected, you might feel let down. This disappointment can make you feel less interested in being close to him. It’s probably a good idea to think about what you really want and talk to your husband.

The Sex Is Too Predictable.

Life isn’t always full of romantic surprises and attraction. As time goes on, both you and your partner will change. Everyday tasks and routines might make you feel less connected.

If things become too predictable, it can take the excitement out of even the strongest relationships. This can lead to annoyance and hard feelings. And sometimes, it might make one or both of you look for excitement with someone else.

Bad Communication.

It’s normal for the intense excitement of new love to settle down into a more regular, calm kind of love. But it’s a problem if you and your partner hardly ever have meaningful conversations anymore.

If you’re missing emotional closeness, ask yourself: When did you last have a real, deep talk with your partner? Can you really share your feelings with them?

If you can’t remember or it’s been a long time, then it makes sense that you’re not feeling as attracted to them. Good, honest talks are key to a strong and growing relationship.

You/Your Husband Changed.

As years go by, it’s normal for you and your husband to change. This might show in how you look, your interest in sex, what you enjoy doing together, and how you both grow as persons.

If you’ve grown so different that you don’t share anything in common anymore, it’s not strange to feel put off and to start looking for reasons why you’re not attracted to your partner.

Infidelity/Lack Of Trust.

When cheating hits a relationship, it can feel like you can’t move on or forget the hurt. Think about whether:

You don’t feel close to your husband at all, and if the trust you had is now gone. If you’re filled with doubt and suspicion, and if you no longer have a safe place in your relationship. If you’re seeking comfort and stability outside of your marriage.

How Can You Feel Attracted To Your Husband Again?

couple kissing in the bedroom

Tell Him. 

It’s easier said than done, but if you want to improve your sex life and feel closer to your husband, you need to start by talking openly and honestly. You need to talk about that something that is bothering you so much that you feel disconnected.

Whatever is troubling you about your husband, have an honest conversation with him. Solving this problem can only start when both of you are willing to talk things through seriously.

Take Care Of Yourself.

Change begins with you. Taking care of your mental health is needed here. If you’re dealing with anxiety or depression, it can be really hard to feel positive and loving towards your partner. Look after yourself.

Reflect and Appreciate The Good Times.

Think back to why you first fell for your husband. Try to do things that bring back those happy memories, instead of getting stuck on what’s going wrong now.


Trying new and exciting things together can really help your relationship. Couples who do fun and different activities are happier than those who stick to the routine, the safe stuff.

When you keep adding fun and happy moments to your relationship, it’s harder to take your partner for granted. Looking for fun is a good way to keep feeling attracted to your partner, and it often makes other parts of your life better too.

Seek Professional Help.

It’s really okay to get help from a therapist when you’re trying to make your marriage better. They can guide you through the tough feelings that come up when you’re working things out. Therapy gives you and your partner a safe place to talk about your problems. A therapist can be a fair and neutral person to help you two.

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