You don’t know what to do anymore. You try to find motivation but they don’t work no more. You’ve probably been self harming and the relief, less and less and less temporary than the last.
Hey, I’m proud of you for attempting to read this. 🫶🏾
You’re constantly trying to be brave but your world is crumbling. You’re scared. You’re super anxious. You’re overthinking. You don’t even know how exactly to express yourself.
You just want to feel like a normal person. Like you exist. You thought you’d get over it sooner or later but so far, it’s done nothing but worsen. You’re probably thinking suicide and a million ways to end your life too.
We’ll be HYPER delulu if I tell you that you can pause these feelings as soon as possible.
I can understand you. I’m in my early twenties and to be honest, I’m wearing your shoes almost every week. The bad days are evening out the good days.
Dear reader; you are okay. You just need to accept yourself. It gets better. You have to get by as best as you can.
- Do u stutter? So what?
- Do u feel insecure about your body? So what? You didn’t create yourself and they certainly didn’t as well.
- If there is a source of insecurity, identify it and tackle it. Healing happens best when you are able take a look at the situation.
- Exercises help a lot too. If you already do, awesome!
- Ask for the HolySpirit’s guide. It’s the best thing before sliced bread.
It’s About Communication.
Saying “I’m dying on the inside” is a form of self expression. When things on our minds seem overwhelming, describing it just doesn’t cut it.
It doesn’t dig into the rawness of how we feel. The best way to describe our emotions when they are unbearable is to go to the extreme. And what is more extreme than dying?
Dying is the total, inevitable loss of life. After death, nothing more. So don’t hate on the next person who tells you they think they are dying. Open yourself up to feel their emotions. The person telling you this is trying to communicate with you that they are in severe pain, whether emotionally, physically, or both.
It’s Not Stigmatizing.
Some think that a person labelling themselves as dying without actually being diagnosed as such is stigmatizing.
Stereotypes. Stereotypes. Stereotypes. Make it stop. Please!
That’s not always true. If someone says they are feeling dead inside, but they are not diagnosed, don’t throw away the fact that they are opening up themselves to you, putting their trust in you and being vulnerable in sharing this information with you for a tangible reason.
They want help, even if sometimes, that help is only to have an empathetic, non-judgmental listening ear. They may even say it repeatedly (especially those with a mental illness because they may often forget they told you).
Just listen to the story as if it’s the first time you are hearing it. Please don’t become frustrated with them. And if you do, excuse yourself and walk away for the time being. Self-care is also important.
How to Make the Dying Sensation End.
This is a heavy topic if we’re being real.
You need to focus on something else to get your mind off it. Is this going to help you? Most likely.
As for me, working will keep away the tears until I can enter my safe space later to cry. So I recommend it as I’ve been there. If you feel like you are dying, get yourself to a safe place, quickly. Think, am I really dying?
Find ways to prove that you are still alive and not actually dying. Do not pick self harming. Do some breathing exercises.
Call your friends. Process the moment. Call someone safe to check in with. Text if you don’t feel comfortable calling. Just don’t do nothing.
Don’t sit with those overwhelming feelings. Tell yourself that the feelings will eventually go away, even if it feels like they will last forever.
Call the 800-273-8255 crisis line! There is always someone at the other end of that line 24/7 to help you. Eventually, you will feel better and then you can begin to process the experience.
After Your Experience.
Later in the day and you may no longer feel like you’re dying on the inside. Maybe not completely, but to an extent. I also felt earlier that I was going to explode somehow. It turns out that working was a good distraction.
And food is a great way to reward me for having made it through a difficult day. Make a list of healthy distractions. These can be anything from sniffing lavender or tea tree oil to putting your hand in a bowl of dry rice.
It’s nice to have a mental list of these things but it’s nicer still to have a list written down either on paper or in your phone which you can easily refer to in times of distress.
Processing Your Experience.
If you say you feel like you are dying on the inside, it’s likely that something happened which triggered you to feel this way. At some point when you are ready after that feeling fades, you have to process the experience.
I have discovered in my case that a lot of anger lies behind my being in a state of overwhelm. And under that anger lies sadness and hurt.
I’m angry that it wasn’t okay to talk about feelings when I was little and that no one helped me feel properly. I’m angry that because of these things, I was an angry teenager and the likes…
You Need Professional Help.
Emotional pain is never easy to bear alone and that is why we seek out therapists so that we can have someone bear witness to our lives, our experience, our struggles.
When you feel like you are no longer alone, that can be such a relief. You don’t have to bear the pain and the hurt all by yourself. There are people who are professionally trained to help you with this.
You have to make helping yourself a priority, or you will not survive this. I didn’t see a therapist because I was too scared to admit all these things but later on, I got the support I needed – still not a therapist. But I’m a psychotherapist in training anyway so I can get to help people professionally!
I choose to use my coping skills. I choose life and I hope you do too. Stay away from unhealthy coping skills though. Love you!
